Financial Mediation Structure
Me and you two. In one room or in separate rooms, depending on your comfort level.
One on One Consulting
- Your advocate and/or advisor
- Mediation with another mediator or attorney
- Litigated divorce (two attorneys)
- Cooperative (two attorney or one self-represented)
- Do it yourself (pro-se) divorce
Collaborative Interdisciplinary Team
- One neutral financial
- Two Collaboratively and Mediation-Trained attorneys.
- Divorce coach(es) / Child Specialist (if appropriate)
- Full transparency and Participation Agreement Signed Preventing Court Involvement required.
- Each party must be represented by a lawyer whose representation terminates upon the undertaking of any contested court proceeding
Begin the Divorce Mediation Process
Read More About Mediation
In mediation, the couple, with the help of the mediator, works out agreements on the above issues. Sometimes agreements come easy, sometimes they take time and a lot of work. When agreements are hard to reach, that is when the mediator intervenes. It is the mediators job to keep the lines of communication open, brainstorm ideas, reality test the couple, teach empathy and assist the couple in their decision making process. Mediators help keep the couple focused on the issues at hand, trying not to get them off track. When divorcing couples get off track and away from the above issues during mediation, arguing, name-calling and bad prior memories are brought up.
Mediation is flexible and confidential. It gives you and your spouse a way to settle the conflict between you in a way that helps you to work together as parents. This is extremely important if you have children and must interact with your ex-spouse after you are divorced. Mediation brings about communication between the couple, which can then be used when they must discuss issues in pertaining to the children. Lack of communication may have been one of the main reasons for their divorce. Mediation has the ability to help the couple learn to communicate again, if only for the sake of the children, and make their post-divorce relationship better than their married one.
A divorce mediator is neutral and doesn’t “work” for either parent. That means the mediator can not give advice to either party. They must remain neutral no matter what the situation.
What the mediator can do, though, is assist the divorcing couple in formulating ideas that can eventually lead to agreements that will stand the test of time. That open and free exchange of information frees up both spouses to negotiate with each other in confidence. Because both spouses are working with the same base of information, it usually takes far less time to negotiate a resolution that makes sense to both spouses.
Mediation is voluntary. It continues only for so long as all three of you – you, your spouse, and the mediator — want it to. Mediations can be conducted weekly, every two weeks, monthly or how ever often the couple wants them to be. This is their mediation and they decide everything in the process.
Is divorce mediation right for me?
If these values are important to you, Collaborative Practice is likely to be a workable option for you:
- I want to maintain the tone of respect, even when we disagree.
- I want to prioritize the needs of our children.
- My needs and those of my spouse require equal consideration, and I will listen objectively.
- I believe that working creatively and cooperatively solves issues.
- It is important to reach beyond today’s frustration and pain to plan for the future.
- I can behave ethically toward my spouse.
- I choose to maintain control of the divorce process with my spouse, and not relegate it to the courts.
Does this path sound and feel comfortable for you? We suggest that you talk to a Collaborative lawyer, divorce coach, child specialist, or financial professional about your situation to help you make the decision.